thankful.

I cannot write this post without crying. Maybe it's the crazy post-pregnancy hormones. They are tears of overwhelming joy, love, and thankfulness. This Thanksgiving will always be a special one because on November 15 at 8:59pm, our son, Jack Donald Miller, was born, healthy and alert and rocking a stellar pair of cheeks. Delivering him was the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life. What a miracle! Yes, it's been a major adjustment getting used to life with a newborn. And yes, it's scary to me sometimes to think that this little life depends on my for everything. But every time he stretches after he eats or sneezes three times in a row or studies the world so intently when he's awake, it makes it all worth it. I did not know my heart could feel such overwhelming and nurturing love.

I'm also thankful for my husband - the best labor coach a girl could ask for. Your calmness and attentiveness amazed me as we moved through each stage of labor and delivery. Thank you for holding my puke bucket when the pain was overwhelming. Thank you for rubbing my back over and over and over again. Thank you for letting me squeeze your hand so tight in the middle of contractions. Thank you for always having my water bottle handy. Thank you for being my advocate when I couldn't talk to the doctors and nurses. Thank you for telling me, "You can do this. Keep going, you're doing great" during the last couple of hours when I didn't think I could keep going. And thank you for getting up in the middle of the night between feedings when Jack is fussy so I can get just a few more minutes of sleep. I am so proud of you, I love you so much, and Jack is so blessed to have you as his father. I can't wait to spend Thanksgiving with you and our son.

public service announcement for Netflix owners

Yep, still pregnant. But that's not really what this post is about... 

So maybe this is old news, and probably is since I'm usually waaaayyy behind pop culture (example: I'm just now seeing a movie that came out a year ago), but newsflash: Skyfall is on Netflix! Maybe this is only exciting to Tim and I because a). I've never seen a single Bond movie and b). we've seriously been talking about renting this movie for the past week. It took us about 2 seconds to add it to our list and about 5 minutes to warm up some leftovers, settle onto the couch, and hit play. And it did not disappoint. I loved it for all the classy, suit-wearing action scenes, and Tim loved it for all the throw backs to old Bond movies.

Anything else great on Netflix that we should know about?

lately...

feeling very pregnant but very good
cooking spaghetti pie, pot pie, and corn potato chowder to put in the freezer
researching homemade tub cleaner
going on daily walks
waking up everyday wondering if this will be the day we meet our baby
shopping for Christmas gifts
solidifying names for the bambino
making lists of fun things to do before the baby comes
watching the leaves fall
loving Amazon Prime
listening to "Open Water" by The Saint Johns
taking daily afternoon naps
blazing through "What Not to Wear" episodes on Netflix
walking down the baby aisles every time I go to Target
consciously eating a good amount of protein every day
praying about labor and delivery
filling out Baby Miller's baby book
wondering what it will be like to all of a sudden be a parent
enjoying back rubs from Tim each night during episodes of 30 Rock/Parks & Rec/The Office
laying out baby clothes for the hospital
spending most days in leggings/yoga pants
designing our Christmas card
stocking up on things like sports drinks, protein bars, crackers, and honey sticks
pulling out my sweaters and scarves and warm socks
baking zucchini cinnamon bread and butternut squash
checking out cooking magazines from the library
savoring the last few precious days of this pregnancy as much as possible

recipe // sloppy joes

via

I am a total lover of Pinterest. I don't spend hours a day sifting through pins, but I do use it almost everyday. It has honestly made cooking so much easier. Pre-Pinterest, I used to have bookmark tabs with links and links of recipes I'd like to try. It wasn't very practical, but it was all I had. Then along came Pinterest and this type-A organizer was thrilled.

I found this sloppy joe recipe just a few days ago (on Pinterest) and made it last night. Tim claimed it was hands-down the best sloppy joe he'd ever had. Go figure. It's a super easy recipe; there's just a few little surprise ingredients that I think give it that edge - like soy sauce. Have you ever put soy sauce in your sloppy joes?! Not me. So Tim thought it'd be a good idea to share this recipe with the world, just in case you were looking for the best sloppy joe recipe ever.

Sweet & Spicy Sloppy Joes
from Jennifer Hill Pallian of the Foodess blog

2 tbsp olive oil, divided
1 onion, finely chopped
2 stalks celery, finely chopped
1 carrot, grated
2" piece ginger, minced (I didn't have ginger on hand, but I'm sure this would give it another great dimension of flavor!)
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 lbs lean ground beef
1 1/2 cups ketchup
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup tomato paste
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
1-2 tsp cayenne
1 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp ground cloves
rolls for serving

Heat olive oil in a dutch oven or large, heavy-bottomed pot over medium heat. Sauté onion, celery, and carrot until soft, about 5 minutes. Add ginger and garlic and cook until fragrant, about one minute. Add the beef and cook until fully browned, about 10 minutes.
Stir in the ketchup, brown sugar, tomato paste, vinegar, soy sauce, and spices. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes.
Serve with split rolls and enjoy the best sloppy joe ever!

baby update // 37 weeks

yes, that is my hospital bag in the background, semi-packed and ready to go.

Well, folks, I think we're ready for Baby Miller. And by that I mean as ready as you can ever be walking directly into the complete unknown aka parenthood. The nursery is unbelievably cute and stocked with blankets, onesies, and diapers; the car seat base has been installed; all the crib bedding has been washed; the swing is put together and sitting in the corner, waiting to be used. As for the labor and delivery aspect of everything, I'm feeling fairly prepared for that as well. Between our birth classes, reading a couple of highly-recommended books, and talking to friends who have been through the experience, I feel ready to take on this enormous task. People keep asking me if I'm nervous or scared, and I always say no. I'm more curious than anything, and if there's anything I'm nervous about, it's not the pain or work, but just the unknown. I'm a planner by nature and love to know what I'm walking into, but birth is one of those things that you can't really plan for. Yes, we have our birth plan all written out and ideas of how everything will go, but we of course have no idea how it will all actually go down. For this reason, I've been focusing my prayers more on the outcome than on the actual experience. Yes, I would love to be one of those women who can say I had a terrific and beautiful birth experience, but ultimately, all I want is a healthy and strong babe.

It's still so weird to me that I'm going to be a mom, that Tim's going to be a dad. Growing up, those titles were reserved for people who had perms, wore pleated pants, had mustaches, drank a lot of coffee, and liked to listen to news on the radio. Actually, Tim fits 3 of those characteristics already, ha! I think parenting is something I'm much more nervous about than physically birthing a baby. Should we be reading parenting books? Do we need to go over standards we think we should have once the kid is a little older? I think I'm so scared that one little "wrong" decision about something like how often to feed the baby or where the baby will sleep will end up snowballing into some kind of undesirable "condition" like a baby that cries all the time or doesn't sleep through the night until they're 2. This is probably just something I need to get over and we'll find our groove over time, figuring out what's best for our baby.

Baby Miller, we're ready for you and are so excited to meet you! See you soon, little one.

baby shower #2

Well, it's the middle of October and it's starting to look like fall. This year's fall season seems to be a little later than usual, which I am totally fine with. I'll take a long fall season any day. And the beginning of this year's fall was also the beginning of baby showers. I am so blessed to have family and friends who want to literally shower me, Tim, and the baby with gifts, blessings, prayers, and advice. My sister hosted baby shower #2 and did an excellent job. It was so darn cute! Check out all the cute details she put into it...

How fabulous are those cupcakes?! And the tree stumps and striped straws and diaper "cake" and... It was a great little party, full of special touches and special ladies.

And speaking of fabulous, a dear friend designed the shower invitation, which you can check out here. So adorable!

baby book

As of today, I am 34 weeks into this pregnancy and starting to get the "we really need to start getting things done/make a hospital packing list/buy essentials like a carseat" itch. I think part of it is that the last few women I've known who've had babies have all gone early. So while I think that I still have a whole 6+ weeks left, it could very well be 4 weeks. Holy cow.

One of the things on my to-purchase list has been a baby book, and finding a non-cheesy, gender neutral baby book that didn't cost $80 was much harder than I thought it'd be. I first tried the usual suspects - Target, Hallmark, etc. - but they only carried gender specific books. Then I thought I'd try Etsy because you can find awesome, unique things on there. And while that proved true, many of the books were a little spendy for me. So I resorted to Pinterest and searched for baby books and within 15 minutes found 3 great options. Gotta love Pinterest. After reviewing the options, I made my decision and placed my order for a baby book from My Sweet Muffin, a totally adorable site. The book came on Friday and I LOVE it! It's beautiful, it's gray and yellow(!), and the prompts are perfect. AND it cost less than $35. Score. Look how cute! Totally love it.

via

Other great and unique options for baby books I found:

The Poketo Baby Book and Memory Box
source

Baby Book by Yasmeen Ismail
source

engagement photos // john+dani

I got to spend some time with these two a couple weekends ago for an engagement photo in and around Minneapolis. It was a super fun shoot. We started on St. Anthony Main and ended at a wild flower preserve on the edge of the suburbs as the sun was setting. These last few photos are some of my favorites I've ever taken. It didn't hurt that John and Dani are a beautiful couple!

a weekend in the city a.k.a. a babymoon

Happy October! As Tim and I were sitting at the table this morning, he declared that October is probably his favorite month, followed closely by January/February. The boy loves his snow. I'll stick with October, thank you very much, and all it's bright leaves, sweaters, bonfires, apple pies, and (this year) baby prepping.

We spent this past weekend in the city. I guess you could call it our "babymoon", although it was really just like any other weekend, just with a few added extras...

• seeing The Milk Carton Kids and Over the Rhine at the Cedar Cultural Center. holy cow, so good! if you would like proof, take a listen.
• staying in a hotel = swimming! I've been wanting to go swimming for awhile now, thinking that it would just feel soooo good for this pregnant body. And it was every bit as awesome as I imagined it would be.
• walking around the Mall of America early on a Saturday morning to avoid the crowds. Tim said it was his best MOA experience to date.
• eating at an Asian bistro in Stillwater.
• exploring the antique shops and boutiques of Stillwater.
• eating a salted caramel pecan cupcake at Mara Mi, one of my most favorite shops EVER. seriously, I think I could live in there.

We were back at our cozy home by Saturday evening, which made for a quick trip, but also meant that we spent Sunday at church/baking apple crisp/mowing the lawn/generally enjoying each other's company and the beautiful fall day. Perf.

what we're watching

With the shorter evenings and the fact that by the time 6:00pm rolls around, all I feel like doing is sitting on the couch surrounded by about 6 pillows, our Netflix watching has been on the uptick lately. What I love most about Netflix is the amount of documentaries available. I think I'd take a documentary over a movie any day, unless that movie is Miracle or You've Got Mail, of course. If you have Netflix, here are some of our favorites we've been watching recently.

Long Way Round/Long Way Down: These documentaries have been by far our most favorite find lately! So interesting, adventurous, and hilarious. Since there's only about 10 episodes per series, we would literally have to walk away from the TV so we wouldn't blow through 4 episodes per night...although we did that, too.

Word Wars: a glimpse inside the not-so-glamorous lives of Scrabble experts.

Helvetica: this got a little long and technical at times, but it was still interesting to see just how much people love (an hate) this oh-so-popular font.

A Matter of Taste: we're always up for a good foodie documentary. This follows a young and brilliant chef trying to make it in New York City. It made me want to eat small portions of fancy food on white plates.

Derek: Tim and I both have very specific tastes about the kinds of shows we like - Parks and Rec, The Office, 30 Rock. And when we started this mini-series, we had no idea what to expect. I would say Tim liked it and I loved it. It's hilarious and heartwarming at the same time. Definitely worth a watch.

baby update // 32 weeks

Baby Miller and I are growing right along! And at 32 weeks prego, I am definitely starting to feel large and in charge, but otherwise am still feeling good. Sleeping recently became my nemesis, but thanks to the cushy-ness of the couch in the sunroom, I am back to getting full nights of sleep. Plus, now I get to see things like the full moon and shooting stars if I do wake up in the middle of the night.

Tim and I started our birthing class with our doula. She is really great and informative and I'm excited to build up my arsenal of "tools" to make our birthing experience a good one. Between appointments, birthing class, Tim's grad classes, and fall traveling, I feel like the next 8 weeks are going to fly by so fast, so I want to be conscience to savor these last few weeks of pregnancy - savor the kicks and hiccups; savor the fact that I know my baby is close and safe; savor all the advice and kind words that come with this season of pregnancy. I had no idea what to expect going into this pregnancy, but I can honestly say it's been better than I imagined and I have truly loved growing this baby of ours.

my (non) green thumb

Back at the beginning of summer, I went to the greenhouse with big dreams and the confidence that since my mom and Grandma both have killer gardens, I probably inherited their plant-nurturing genes and could have a killer garden of my own. Ha! There is a man-made planter box that runs the length of the back of the sunroom and I thought that'd be the perfect place for a little garden. So I bought some herb plants, three kinds of heirloom tomato plants, three kinds of peppers, and some begonias to line the edges. I had visions of BLTs with brightly colored tomatoes and stuffed peppers with peppers and cilantro that I grew with my own two hands. I watered and weeded it faithfully all summer, but by August, my cilantro had completely died, the flowers were hardly any bigger than when I bought them, and there wasn't a hint of produce on any of the plants. And then finally! A tiny pepper appeared and a green tomato seemed to spring up out of nowhere. But I'm afraid it's all a little too late since it's already the middle of September and our temperatures are already starting to dip into the 30s at night. So I guess gardening genes aren't something that you can really inherit.

did you know that h&m has the cutest baby stuff?!

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9

It was enough for me when H&M finally got with the times recently and started selling their stuff online. And then to find out they have the greatest baby essentials?! Bonus. And I'm totally loving all the neutrals and non-cheesy onesies they have. So adorable.

Happy Friday!

3 years ago

Today is our three year anniversary. Crazy how much happens in three years! We've started jobs, quit jobs, moved to a new city, bought a house, taken countless road trips, and, as of last night, set up a crib for our first baby. We've learned lessons the hard way, how to love each other better, what it means to be selfless, and that marriage takes a lot of work but is worth it. It's been a great adventure so far and I can't wait to see what the next 50 years has in store.

I will love you my whole life; you, and no other.

happy labor day

Labor Day Weekend, the unofficial last hoorah of summer. In the past, there's been camping trips, fishing trips, and cabin trips. But this year is pretty low-key. While Tim is enjoying the wilderness of the BWCA, mom and dad came up and we:

+ shopped the maternity store at the Albertville Outlet mall
+ painted the nursery (love it!)
+ went to church
+ started filling and organizing the nursery closet
+ watched The Andy Griffith Show on Netflix
+ shut the air off and opened the house up thanks to cooler temps and no humidity
+ made 3 pints of fresh salsa

Today will be spent in leggings and a cardigan, letting the fresh air blow through the house, while working on some design projects and anxiously awaiting Tim's return.

on motherhood + fear

With just a few short months left before I'm fully plunged into motherhood, the bliss of a good pregnancy is slowly being replaced by fears of the unknown and what-ifs. Based on this post, you may think that I've totally got this whole mom thing figured out and am forging into the unknown armed with confidence and understanding. Not true. I am fearful and nervous and full of questions.

How will be able to cook a full meal? Will I have time for design projects? How will I handle the overwhelming task and responsibility of caring for a tiny human being? Will our marriage change, for better or worse?

And then there's maybe the biggest of them all: I am so scared about the heart-crushing love I will have (and already do) for my baby, my child. The love that will make me my heart ache when they cry; the love that will keep me up at night thinking what if that would have been my child in that car crash; the love that will suddenly turn up my awareness of kidnappings; the love that will make me want to keep them locked safe inside our house to protect them from the harms of this world; the love that will make me encourage them to follow their dreams, even if that means traveling across the country to go to college.

This is what I've been thinking about lately, and at times the weight of it all is almost unbearable. I need to learn to live on my knees before my God who will be there every step of the way. And I need to get over my pride of not wanting to ask for help. Otherwise, I may not get any sleep for the next 18+ years.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpassed all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

To these promises I will cling.

details of August

+ Evie reading books with Uncle Tim
+ early morning fishing excursion/sunrise cruise on Booth Lake in Wisconsin
+ wakesurfing!
+ sistahs fo ev-ah
+ at home for my birthday and a homemade birthday peach pie
+ chowing down on my birthday meal - sweet corn, grilled burgers, baked beans, and homemade pickles
+ a major grating session with all the zucchini I got from mom. so pumped to pull it out in the dead of winter and make something delicious.

other things from august:
+ I hit the third trimester of my pregnancy. yeah, baby!
+ bought this album
+ discovered this awesome product, immediately added it to the birthday list, and unwrapped it just a few days ago. thanks Tim!
+ started reading this book and am loving it.
+ cleared out the room that will become the nursery in preparation for a fresh coat of light gray paint
+ currently in the midst of one of the hottest streaks in Minnesota's history. the thermometer on my computer at work today read 103. woah.
+ Tim started a new semester and year of grad school.
+ bought tickets to see these guys at the end of September.
+ made this and didn't regret it. seriously, so good.

business card+logo design // katie wilson

Lately, I have had little design projects popping up here and there, which I love. One of my most favorites recently has been working with Katie (the sister of one of my best friends) on a logo and business card design. She had an awesome color scheme in mind and told me to run with the design. Since she is a therapist, my vision was something that wasn't overly serious, but approachable. I really love how the whole project turned out and wish Katie the best of luck in her endeavors!