Jack's birth story // part 2

(…continued from part 1)

After being monitored for a few minutes, they wheeled me into the delivery room and we met the nurses who would be with me for the rest of my labor and delivery. The nurses quickly became very important to me because our doula had to leave and wouldn’t be able to come back to the hospital until around 9:00pm. It didn’t take too long to realize that Brenda, my main nurse, was a total God send. She made sure I was as comfortable as possible, changing the temperature in the room, turning the lights down, and constantly putting blankets on and off. Her demeanor, attitude, and the way she worked with me through the contractions was absolutely awesome. Between her and Tim, I learned how to deal with the increasingly intense contractions.

Even though I had decided that I wanted to give birth at the hospital, I was very intent on doing it as naturally as possible, and for the most part my doctor and nurses did a great job at honoring that. I was able to wear my own clothes and not be hooked up to an IV, two things that we had written in our birth plan that hung on the wall of the delivery room. Other important points were that I wanted the freedom to move around during labor, I didn’t want to be strapped to monitors, and I wanted the option of laboring in the whirlpool tub. But by the time I had climbed off of the triage bed they had wheeled me in on and climbed onto the bed in the delivery room, my contractions were so intense that I hardly moved the upright and seated position on the bed. I only moved from that position once to see what it felt like to labor on my hands and knees, which didn’t feel good at all, so I went back to just sitting in bed. Not what I was expecting at all, but it worked!

Around 6:00pm, I had dilated to 5cm. A little more disappointment. I had been working so hard and this was the point where I was starting to think that I couldn’t do it. After several hard contractions, I turned to Tim and said, “ I don’t think I can do this. I need something!” But he was so awesome and would squeeze me hand, get right in my face, and say, “Yes you can! You can do this! You’re doing so good.” But in my mind I just kept thinking, “I’m only halfway to be fully dilated. How am I going to do this?!” I learned that slow even breathing and low noises worked much better than quick breaths and high-pitched noises. So with each contraction, I would look straight ahead, focusing on keeping my composure, and breathing. This must have worked because by 7:30pm I was almost completely dilated and I had very strong urges to start pushing that were getting harder to control. At one point, there were no nurses in the room, it was just Tim and I and as I felt the overwhelming urges to push, I frantically said to Tim, “Where is everybody?!” I was so sure that the baby was going to start coming before the doctor was even there.

When Brenda came back in the room, she knew I was getting close to the end of labor and beginning of delivery. I vaguely remember nurses scurrying about the room, getting everything set up for the arrival of our baby. When the doctor came in, I knew I must be getting close to the full out pushing stage. At this point, I just kept thinking, “Please let the pushing go fast.” I was scared of what it’d be like to push for 2 or 3 hours, wondering if I had what it would take.

After all of our research and knowledge gained from the birthing classes with our doula, the last thing I thought I’d do would be to push while on my back. But that’s what happened. In the end, it felt the best and it worked well for me. With each contraction coming on about a minute apart, there wasn’t much rest and I was constantly fluxuating between being cold and hot. Brenda and Tim were absolutely amazing during the pushing phase. They kept telling me how awesome I was doing, coaching me through feeling when I was pushing effectively and when I wasn’t. I worked very hard and about a half hour into pushing, Brenda said I was so close to meeting our baby. What great motivation! As the doctor readied herself, I knew I was close. I also knew I was close when Tim said he could see that our baby had dark hair!

Pushing was a lot different than I thought it would be. It was almost a relief from the contractions. The atmosphere in the room was calm. Although there were nurses preparing for the arrival of a baby, things were hushed. I didn’t feel frantic, just focused on working the hardest I could with each contraction. As the baby moved further and further down, Brenda kept saying, “This is it! You are so close!” Between her rotating in cold rags on my neck and forehead, and Tim giving me sips from water, I gained a little bit of energy between contractions. And since I knew this baby would be here in a matter of minutes not hours, I gave it my all. And then just like that, I heard, “There’s the head!” and the rest of the baby soon followed.

As I watched the doctor take the baby and place it on my chest, Tim said, “It’s a boy!” We have a son! Another completely surreal moment. And he was right there on my chest, gulping in oxygen and letting out some cries. As they handed me a blanket, all I could do was clutch him close to my chest and look at Tim through watery eyes. What a miracle! Our baby was here, Jack Donald Miller –born at 8:59pm, 8lbs. 13oz., 20.5 inches long.

As I was holding Jack on my chest and looking into his eyes for the very first time, Annie came in. She started taking priceless pictures of the first few minutes of us as a family of three and began coaching me in breastfeeding. Jack stayed on my chest for the first hour and a half, awake and content.

I had a pretty bad tear from the delivery, and the pain and pressure of being stitched up was truly one of the hardest parts of the experience. Luckily, there was a warm wiggly baby on my chest to distract me. I was weak, hungry, and shaky so Brenda brought in some warm blankets to cover me as I snuggled Jack and I sucked on a honey stick to regain some energy. My next thought was, “I need some real food.” I wanted something fresh, so Brenda ordered me turkey sandwich and a big bowl of fruit.

The next order of business: start calling our families and friends. Tim started making the rounds of phone calls to the expectant grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. It was so fun listening to him announce, “We have a son!” A lot of times I could hear the muffled excitement on the other end when he said the baby was here. It was around 10:30 when we started calling people. I thought it was going to be too late, but everyone was awake and awaiting the news. One of the first things everyone wanted to know of course was how much he weighed, which was funny because at that point in the night, we didn’t even know! After I delivered him, he was on my chest for awhile – the nurses checked him right there and we hadn’t put him on the scale yet. So finally around 11:00pm we put him on the scale, and I was so surprised (and Tim was so proud) how much he weighed! A healthy, sturdy baby boy. What a blessing.

After I had eaten some food and Jack was wrapped up in Tim’s arms, I got to soak in a deep Jacuzzi bath tub for awhile, which felt absolutely amazing. Once I got cleaned up, we moved into the post-delivery recovery room. By this time it was well past midnight and Tim and I were both exhausted. We had written on our birth plan that we wanted to give Jack his first bath, but by this point, Tim could hardly keep his eyes open and I could hardly stand up from soreness and exhaustion. So our nurse gave him a bath, wrapped him up, and handed him to me. Tim laid out his sleeping bag on the couch in our room and was asleep within seconds. I was tired, but still had a total adrenaline rush from giving birth and was speechless at the fact that after months of waiting and praying and anticipating, I was finally holding our warm, fuzzy-headed baby in my arms. I was overwhelmed with love for this little life and gratitude to the Lord for giving me the strength I needed that day. It was a day I’ll never, ever forget.

Jack's birth story // part 1

It still seems sort of unreal that I have my own birth story to tell. For so long I've read about and cried tears of joy over other women's stories, and now I have my own! And it's something I'll never forget.

From the beginning, I knew I wanted to approach the birth of our baby as naturally as possible. We met with an area midwife, researched home birth vs. birth centers vs. the hospital, talked to other moms from our church, and met with a couple doulas. In the end, I decided I would feel most comfortable at the hospital and I felt confident that a natural birth would be possible at the hospital. My doctor was on board with our wishes from the beginning, which was very important, and our doula helped us write out a specific birth plan to bring to the hospital to keep the nurses informed about what I wanted and what I didn't. There are lots of scary hospital-birth stories out there, but I can honestly say I had a great experience. The nurses were considerate and helpful and the room was warm and inviting. Tim had to be my advocate and speak up and ask questions when they wanted to do something I wasn't on board with, but they were always obliging. And the deep jacuzzi tub filled with steaming hot water they have waiting for you after you give birth…amazing.

On November 14^th, I had my 39 week appointment and everything was looking great – I was dilated about 3cm and the doctor said the baby was sitting very low. I felt great and even scheduled a 41 week appointment just in case. I felt really encouraged that I had already started dilating, which I attribute to all the 1-mile morning walks I took since very early in the pregnancy. I went to bed that night as usual – a back rub from Tim before crawling into bed surrounded by four different pillows. But for some reason my lower back hurt and I couldn’t get comfortable. Early in the night, Tim moved to the downstairs bedroom because I was snoring. I woke up about every hour to either pee or from being uncomfortable. In the middle of the night, I warmed up the bed buddy because the pain in my back was getting a little intense. Around 5:30 in the morning, I got up to pee, went back to bed, and as I laid back down, it felt like I was peeing my pants. I ran back to the bathroom and realized my water was breaking! We were going to meet our baby soon!

I walked downstairs and woke Tim up around 5:40 and said, “I think my water just broke.” And with that we both sprung into action. Contractions hadn’t started yet, so I went back upstairs and put on the clothes I wanted to labor in, finished packing my bag for the hospital, and made a piece of peanut butter toast for breakfast because I knew I would need the energy later on. I even washed my face and put make up on. When the bags were on the table, the camera was set out, and I had called my mom and texted my sister, I plugged in my iPod, set it to the Baby Time playlist, and prayed with Tim in the kitchen, knowing that today was going to be a big day. I felt very excited, but calm.

Around 7:30am I started to feel contractions – nothing major, but they were definitely there. I started walking all around the house and doing laps up and down the stairs. Since we knew it’d be awhile, Tim made a big breakfast of eggs and hash browns because he knew he’d need some energy later on, too.

The back pain that I had all night only grew more intense with the contractions. I was a victim of back labor and it wasn’t pretty. I ended up throwing up a few times because of it. If Tim rubbed my back really hard for a few minutes, the pain would subside for awhile. When the back labor was not very intense, I would walk. When the back labor would set it, I would lean over the back of the recliner. And when my legs got tired from leaning and swaying, I bounced on the yoga ball. The contractions were consistent – around 25 to 30 seconds long and coming about every 5 minutes, until 11:00am when they would come about 10 minutes apart. I was afraid I was stalling out, so I called Annie, our doula, for some advice. She asked if I was tired – yes! I hadn’t slept very good the night before and I had now been laboring for 5 hours. She said it was my body telling me to rest. So we queued up Parks and Recreation on Netflix and I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up about an hour later to contractions that were much stronger. Progress!

From noon until 3:00pm, I started needing Tim with each contraction. Sometimes I would just grab his hand, sometimes I would sort of hang on his neck and sway. At this point contractions were lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute and sometimes even longer, and coming on every 3 to 5 minutes. We called our doula again around 3:00pm and to let her know we would be heading to the hospital soon so she could meet us there.

The car ride to the hospital was surreal and seemed to take forever. At one point, we were stopped at a red light and there were two kids walking home from school, waiting on the corner for the light to turn green. I was so scared that I was going to have a contraction right then and they’d see me looking like a crazy woman, breathing heavy and clutching the door. We pulled into the parking ramp at the hospital and were trying to figure out what bags to bring in right away, and I puked…again. As that was happening, a nurse just getting off her shift happened to walk by. She asked if I was okay and Tim explained that I was in labor. Just a few seconds later, a security officer drove past, so she asked him to have someone get a wheelchair so I wouldn’t have to try to walk all the way to the Family Birthing Center. Thank you, Jesus!

Annie was waiting for us up in the Family Birthing Center. After checking in around 4:00pm, they took me to a labor triage room where they monitored how the baby was doing, took my blood pressure, and checked to see how I was dilating. I was so sure I’d be somewhere between 5 and 7cm since just the day before at my 39 week doctor appointment I was already at 3cm. At this point, I had to be fairly focused during every contraction. After checking me, the nurse said I was between 3-4cm dilated. I was pretty disappointed, to say the least. In my head, that meant I had soooooo far to go.

(to be continued…)

to my dad

Today is my dad's birthday, and I know he has had a long day of flying all over the country today so he deserves a shout-out on the blog. And probably a piece of cake.

Happy birthday, Dad! There's a lot that I could tell you on this milestone of a day, but I'll keep it short and sweet. I'm so proud to have you as my dad - just like I was the day you walked me down the aisle. You make me feel safe, you challenge me, and you make good coffee. Thank you for being a stand-out example of a father, husband, and son. That's not an easy thing to come by these days. I love you a lot.

Erica Elen