life lessons // perspective

I am not surprised that since having a baby life has seemed to move faster than ever. Not only do the days and weeks seem to fly by, but things like eating and grocery shopping now only occur in hyper-mode since my boy's happiness trumps all. This was one of those things that everyone told me about, but you just don't really understand it until you're going through it. For the past almost-6-months, I haven't felt a sense of calm or relaxation. There are moments of rest when I feel like I can catch my breath, but the crazy far outweighs the calm. And for many weeks, I would think, "This is my life now. I will never eat my scrambled eggs in peace again. Tim and I will never have regular date nights without it being a production. I might not have a full night of sleep for years...etc. etc. etc." And then I start thinking, "And we only have one kid. It's only going to get harder and crazier from here on out!" I hate to admit this, but have even been moments when I've seen retired people having coffee at Target or working in their yard and envied them and the fact that they can take. their. time.

But God knows exactly what I need and when I need it. This past weekend, the women in our church got together for a retreat. It was a refreshing time of fellowship and God's word. It was my first time away from Jack for more than three hours, and it was just what I needed. Many people asked me if it was hard to leave him. Honestly, no. I knew he would be at home with Tim, safe and sound. And I knew I needed the time away to sit quietly, soak up the Word, and BEHOLD my Savior.

I came away with many nuggets of wisdom and things to work on (we studied the Proverbs 31 woman...hello), but one thing that I have already stuck in my Bible and want to read every morning is a passage that was shared Saturday morning. It's a version of Psalm 23.

THE LORD IS MY PACEMAKER

The Lord is my pacemaker - I shall not rush
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals
He provides me with images of stillness,
Which restore my serenity
He leads me in the ways of efficiency
Through calmness of mind,
And His guidance is peace

Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day
I will not fret
For His presence is here
His timelessness, His importance
Will keep me in balance

He prepares refreshment and renewal
In the midst of my activity,
By anointing my mind
With oils of tranquility
My cup of joyous energy overflows

Surely harmony and effectiveness
Shall be the fruits of my hours
For I shall walk in His house forever

Yes, my evenings of taking an hour to make an elaborate supper, mornings of sleeping in on Saturday mornings, and afternoons of reading and blogging may be over, it is only for a season. But I don't want to just merely view this as a season I have to get through. I want to enjoy this season with a joyous energy! Enjoy the fact that I'm blessed to spend everyday caring for my baby boy. Enjoy the fact that Jack hungry enough to eat two times in the middle of the night. Enjoy the fact that he weighs enough to make my back ache by the end of the day. Enjoy the fact that Tim and I now have to work as a team to get supper on the table. Enjoy the fact that when I do get a few minutes of "down time", it seems like such a huge gift. And enjoy the fact that date nights now look more like a bon fire in the backyard after Jack goes to bed. Blessings! Not just things to muddle through, but things that God has blessed me with! For I know that one day when I am retired and working in my garden, I will see a young mom pushing a stroller and wish I could get these precious, precious days back.

march :: a recap

Honestly, I'm glad March is behind us. I've just never been a fan of that "in-between" month. And even though I know April can be just as flippant with it's spring-like weather, just being able to say that it's April makes me feel better. Looking at the forecast for this week is a prime example: rain and thunderstorms yesterday, snow last night, sun tomorrow, snow on Friday, then sunny and 50s for the weekend. Talk about bi-polar.

In March…

• had a house full of family
• dedicated our baby to the Lord, which apparently really tired him out
• started cloth diapering, and so far I love it
• took Jack outside for the first time without having to bundle him up
• finally captured Jack's smile when he sees himself in a mirror
• had to dig the snow boots back out for a few days
• after weeks of a happy baby who slept through the night and take regularly scheduled naps, Jack seemed to regress to his 3-week-old self. Thought it was teeth = nope. Growth spurt = maybe. Payback for having too much pride that my baby was sleeping so well = probably.
• went home for a weekend so I could catch my breath/take some naps
• gave Jack a bath in the kitchen sink
• celebrated cousin Evie's 2nd birthday which meant bug tattoos for everyone, even the babe

Not pictured…

• Tim working/writing/studying like crazy for his grad school classes
• three stroller rides around the neighborhood for Jack on the nice days
• design projects for church and various weddings
• cleaning out my room at home and finding old high school art projects, diaries, key chains, and a jewelry box full of 2-dollar bills
• taking a nap in the sunroom for the first time this year
• watching classic Sesame Street episodes on Netflix with Jack
• chopped 10 inches off my hair
• our new evening routine after Jack is asleep: being in bed by 8:30 with mugs of hot tea, books, and Scrabble on the iPad

save the date design // john+dani

It's Friday! Even though I'm at home every day now, I still look forward and count down to Friday. It's always better to have my husband at home, but that's especially true now that there's a little rug rat in the mix. I get to eat breakfast at a leisurely pace for two mornings in a row! Yes! And this weekend is extra special - our parents and siblings are converging on our house for Jack's dedication at church on Sunday. It's going to be such a full, fun, and busy weekend. I love me a full house of family. Anyway...

Remember John and Dani's engagement photo session last fall? Seriously one of my faves ever. And now it's time to start working on their wedding design suite! So exciting. First up: their save-the-date postcard.

I love the way these turned out and incorporate the sort of shabby chic theme. Dani has great style and taste, and this is going to be one seriously cool and beautiful wedding.

all in a year

 

A year ago today, we found out we were having a baby and this picture was taken. A year ago! Crazy what can happen in a year. Fast forward to today…

…and I've got the cutest almost-4-months-old baby boy. And I'm so happy. I feel like it has taken awhile to get used to, and I know I've still got so many things to learn, but I'm starting to settle into the role of being a mother. As I'm sure any new mother can agree with, the days can seem endless and a constant cycle of feeding, changing, playing, holding, walking, and rocking. These are the days when any extra goals and tasks are done in short bursts between naps, and sometimes not even then when things like eating lunch and getting a quick nap take precedent over anything else. That used to bother me - to not have anything to "show" for my days spent at home. Sometimes not even loading or unloading the dishwasher. But my perspective has shifted and now instead of rushing through the nap routine so I can lay Jack down and cross off things on my to-do list, sometimes we just cuddle and I let him sleep in my arms because I know these days are going to fly by. I feel like I'm going to blink, and he'll be going to kindergarten. Just the thought of that makes me a little teary eyed.

I never knew how much I could love this little boy. I know first-time parents say this all the time, but I'm finding out just how true it is. Any time I hear a song or read something about babies growing up and cherishing the moments, I'm usually reduced to a puddle on the floor. My heart goes crazy and it's all I can do to restrain myself from sneaking into Jack's nursery and waking him up from his nap because I just love him. so. much. Yes, I am a sappy and proud mama and while I wish sometimes that I could slow down time, I know exciting things are ahead in the coming year - first foods, first words, crawling, walking, talking, and his first birthday cake. Crazy what can happen in a year.

looking back on the long winter

pulling inches and inches snow off the roof

It's March and the official first day of spring is just around the corner, which makes me sooo happy. I've been itching to start up my daily walk around the neighborhood, this time with a baby in tow. But we've still got heaps upon heaps of snow, and if you live anywhere near the Midwest, the weather/cold/snow is all anyone can talk about these days. When will the snow melt? When will the roads finally be clear of ice? When will it be above zero degrees? I've always sort of been of the mindset that if you're going to live in a state like Minnesota, you better be ready and able to handle winter. I try to not use complaining about the weather as small talk or a conversation starter. But if there was ever a winter to talk about, this one would be it. It has been one of the coldest and snowiest that I can remember, and we've broken all sorts of cold and snow records. But it's winters like this that make us hardy. It's winters like this that make us appreciate the fresh air of spring that much more. Yes, it's been long, but being stuck inside with a new baby isn't the worst thing and I will look back on this crazy winter and remember…

rocking my brand new baby to sleep at 2am by the warmth of the fireplace
sleeping in the downstairs guest bedroom for the first month after Jack was born
piling more blankets than any other time
nursing Jack in his cozy nursery and watching the chickadees on the leafless lilac bush
wearing snow boots almost every time I left the house
not leaving the house for 4 or 5 days on several occasions
watching Tim shovel the driveway countless times
taking a walk on the one above-freezing day
falling asleep the moment my head hit the pillow at night
learning to cherish Jack's 4am feeding, when everything is quiet and cozy
finding a new routine
seeing the thermometer dip to -30 degrees actual temperature
learning that the top of Jack's head is oh so kissable