I am not surprised that since having a baby life has seemed to move faster than ever. Not only do the days and weeks seem to fly by, but things like eating and grocery shopping now only occur in hyper-mode since my boy's happiness trumps all. This was one of those things that everyone told me about, but you just don't really understand it until you're going through it. For the past almost-6-months, I haven't felt a sense of calm or relaxation. There are moments of rest when I feel like I can catch my breath, but the crazy far outweighs the calm. And for many weeks, I would think, "This is my life now. I will never eat my scrambled eggs in peace again. Tim and I will never have regular date nights without it being a production. I might not have a full night of sleep for years...etc. etc. etc." And then I start thinking, "And we only have one kid. It's only going to get harder and crazier from here on out!" I hate to admit this, but have even been moments when I've seen retired people having coffee at Target or working in their yard and envied them and the fact that they can take. their. time.
But God knows exactly what I need and when I need it. This past weekend, the women in our church got together for a retreat. It was a refreshing time of fellowship and God's word. It was my first time away from Jack for more than three hours, and it was just what I needed. Many people asked me if it was hard to leave him. Honestly, no. I knew he would be at home with Tim, safe and sound. And I knew I needed the time away to sit quietly, soak up the Word, and BEHOLD my Savior.
I came away with many nuggets of wisdom and things to work on (we studied the Proverbs 31 woman...hello), but one thing that I have already stuck in my Bible and want to read every morning is a passage that was shared Saturday morning. It's a version of Psalm 23.
THE LORD IS MY PACEMAKER
The Lord is my pacemaker - I shall not rush
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals
He provides me with images of stillness,
Which restore my serenity
He leads me in the ways of efficiency
Through calmness of mind,
And His guidance is peace
Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day
I will not fret
For His presence is here
His timelessness, His importance
Will keep me in balance
He prepares refreshment and renewal
In the midst of my activity,
By anointing my mind
With oils of tranquility
My cup of joyous energy overflows
Surely harmony and effectiveness
Shall be the fruits of my hours
For I shall walk in His house forever
Yes, my evenings of taking an hour to make an elaborate supper, mornings of sleeping in on Saturday mornings, and afternoons of reading and blogging may be over, it is only for a season. But I don't want to just merely view this as a season I have to get through. I want to enjoy this season with a joyous energy! Enjoy the fact that I'm blessed to spend everyday caring for my baby boy. Enjoy the fact that Jack hungry enough to eat two times in the middle of the night. Enjoy the fact that he weighs enough to make my back ache by the end of the day. Enjoy the fact that Tim and I now have to work as a team to get supper on the table. Enjoy the fact that when I do get a few minutes of "down time", it seems like such a huge gift. And enjoy the fact that date nights now look more like a bon fire in the backyard after Jack goes to bed. Blessings! Not just things to muddle through, but things that God has blessed me with! For I know that one day when I am retired and working in my garden, I will see a young mom pushing a stroller and wish I could get these precious, precious days back.
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