After being monitored for a few minutes, they wheeled me into the delivery room and we met the nurses who would be with me for the rest of my labor and delivery. The nurses quickly became very important to me because our doula had to leave and wouldn’t be able to come back to the hospital until around 9:00pm. It didn’t take too long to realize that Brenda, my main nurse, was a total God send. She made sure I was as comfortable as possible, changing the temperature in the room, turning the lights down, and constantly putting blankets on and off. Her demeanor, attitude, and the way she worked with me through the contractions was absolutely awesome. Between her and Tim, I learned how to deal with the increasingly intense contractions.
Even though I had decided that I wanted to give birth at the hospital, I was very intent on doing it as naturally as possible, and for the most part my doctor and nurses did a great job at honoring that. I was able to wear my own clothes and not be hooked up to an IV, two things that we had written in our birth plan that hung on the wall of the delivery room. Other important points were that I wanted the freedom to move around during labor, I didn’t want to be strapped to monitors, and I wanted the option of laboring in the whirlpool tub. But by the time I had climbed off of the triage bed they had wheeled me in on and climbed onto the bed in the delivery room, my contractions were so intense that I hardly moved the upright and seated position on the bed. I only moved from that position once to see what it felt like to labor on my hands and knees, which didn’t feel good at all, so I went back to just sitting in bed. Not what I was expecting at all, but it worked!
Around 6:00pm, I had dilated to 5cm. A little more disappointment. I had been working so hard and this was the point where I was starting to think that I couldn’t do it. After several hard contractions, I turned to Tim and said, “ I don’t think I can do this. I need something!” But he was so awesome and would squeeze me hand, get right in my face, and say, “Yes you can! You can do this! You’re doing so good.” But in my mind I just kept thinking, “I’m only halfway to be fully dilated. How am I going to do this?!” I learned that slow even breathing and low noises worked much better than quick breaths and high-pitched noises. So with each contraction, I would look straight ahead, focusing on keeping my composure, and breathing. This must have worked because by 7:30pm I was almost completely dilated and I had very strong urges to start pushing that were getting harder to control. At one point, there were no nurses in the room, it was just Tim and I and as I felt the overwhelming urges to push, I frantically said to Tim, “Where is everybody?!” I was so sure that the baby was going to start coming before the doctor was even there.
When Brenda came back in the room, she knew I was getting close to the end of labor and beginning of delivery. I vaguely remember nurses scurrying about the room, getting everything set up for the arrival of our baby. When the doctor came in, I knew I must be getting close to the full out pushing stage. At this point, I just kept thinking, “Please let the pushing go fast.” I was scared of what it’d be like to push for 2 or 3 hours, wondering if I had what it would take.
After all of our research and knowledge gained from the birthing classes with our doula, the last thing I thought I’d do would be to push while on my back. But that’s what happened. In the end, it felt the best and it worked well for me. With each contraction coming on about a minute apart, there wasn’t much rest and I was constantly fluxuating between being cold and hot. Brenda and Tim were absolutely amazing during the pushing phase. They kept telling me how awesome I was doing, coaching me through feeling when I was pushing effectively and when I wasn’t. I worked very hard and about a half hour into pushing, Brenda said I was so close to meeting our baby. What great motivation! As the doctor readied herself, I knew I was close. I also knew I was close when Tim said he could see that our baby had dark hair!
Pushing was a lot different than I thought it would be. It was almost a relief from the contractions. The atmosphere in the room was calm. Although there were nurses preparing for the arrival of a baby, things were hushed. I didn’t feel frantic, just focused on working the hardest I could with each contraction. As the baby moved further and further down, Brenda kept saying, “This is it! You are so close!” Between her rotating in cold rags on my neck and forehead, and Tim giving me sips from water, I gained a little bit of energy between contractions. And since I knew this baby would be here in a matter of minutes not hours, I gave it my all. And then just like that, I heard, “There’s the head!” and the rest of the baby soon followed.
As I watched the doctor take the baby and place it on my chest, Tim said, “It’s a boy!” We have a son! Another completely surreal moment. And he was right there on my chest, gulping in oxygen and letting out some cries. As they handed me a blanket, all I could do was clutch him close to my chest and look at Tim through watery eyes. What a miracle! Our baby was here, Jack Donald Miller –born at 8:59pm, 8lbs. 13oz., 20.5 inches long.
As I was holding Jack on my chest and looking into his eyes for the very first time, Annie came in. She started taking priceless pictures of the first few minutes of us as a family of three and began coaching me in breastfeeding. Jack stayed on my chest for the first hour and a half, awake and content.
I had a pretty bad tear from the delivery, and the pain and pressure of being stitched up was truly one of the hardest parts of the experience. Luckily, there was a warm wiggly baby on my chest to distract me. I was weak, hungry, and shaky so Brenda brought in some warm blankets to cover me as I snuggled Jack and I sucked on a honey stick to regain some energy. My next thought was, “I need some real food.” I wanted something fresh, so Brenda ordered me turkey sandwich and a big bowl of fruit.
The next order of business: start calling our families and friends. Tim started making the rounds of phone calls to the expectant grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. It was so fun listening to him announce, “We have a son!” A lot of times I could hear the muffled excitement on the other end when he said the baby was here. It was around 10:30 when we started calling people. I thought it was going to be too late, but everyone was awake and awaiting the news. One of the first things everyone wanted to know of course was how much he weighed, which was funny because at that point in the night, we didn’t even know! After I delivered him, he was on my chest for awhile – the nurses checked him right there and we hadn’t put him on the scale yet. So finally around 11:00pm we put him on the scale, and I was so surprised (and Tim was so proud) how much he weighed! A healthy, sturdy baby boy. What a blessing.
After I had eaten some food and Jack was wrapped up in Tim’s arms, I got to soak in a deep Jacuzzi bath tub for awhile, which felt absolutely amazing. Once I got cleaned up, we moved into the post-delivery recovery room. By this time it was well past midnight and Tim and I were both exhausted. We had written on our birth plan that we wanted to give Jack his first bath, but by this point, Tim could hardly keep his eyes open and I could hardly stand up from soreness and exhaustion. So our nurse gave him a bath, wrapped him up, and handed him to me. Tim laid out his sleeping bag on the couch in our room and was asleep within seconds. I was tired, but still had a total adrenaline rush from giving birth and was speechless at the fact that after months of waiting and praying and anticipating, I was finally holding our warm, fuzzy-headed baby in my arms. I was overwhelmed with love for this little life and gratitude to the Lord for giving me the strength I needed that day. It was a day I’ll never, ever forget.
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