looking back on the long winter

pulling inches and inches snow off the roof

It's March and the official first day of spring is just around the corner, which makes me sooo happy. I've been itching to start up my daily walk around the neighborhood, this time with a baby in tow. But we've still got heaps upon heaps of snow, and if you live anywhere near the Midwest, the weather/cold/snow is all anyone can talk about these days. When will the snow melt? When will the roads finally be clear of ice? When will it be above zero degrees? I've always sort of been of the mindset that if you're going to live in a state like Minnesota, you better be ready and able to handle winter. I try to not use complaining about the weather as small talk or a conversation starter. But if there was ever a winter to talk about, this one would be it. It has been one of the coldest and snowiest that I can remember, and we've broken all sorts of cold and snow records. But it's winters like this that make us hardy. It's winters like this that make us appreciate the fresh air of spring that much more. Yes, it's been long, but being stuck inside with a new baby isn't the worst thing and I will look back on this crazy winter and remember…

rocking my brand new baby to sleep at 2am by the warmth of the fireplace
sleeping in the downstairs guest bedroom for the first month after Jack was born
piling more blankets than any other time
nursing Jack in his cozy nursery and watching the chickadees on the leafless lilac bush
wearing snow boots almost every time I left the house
not leaving the house for 4 or 5 days on several occasions
watching Tim shovel the driveway countless times
taking a walk on the one above-freezing day
falling asleep the moment my head hit the pillow at night
learning to cherish Jack's 4am feeding, when everything is quiet and cozy
finding a new routine
seeing the thermometer dip to -30 degrees actual temperature
learning that the top of Jack's head is oh so kissable

blueberry muffins

I love baking, especially in the winter. It makes the kitchen feel and smell so cozy. I'm a total type-A personality when it comes to recipes, though; I follow them to a T and do not experiment. I've always wished I could be one of those people who thinks up recipes with the inspiration of just one ingredient. My thinking has always been, "If I don't put in exactly what the recipe says, my cake/bread/muffins will be ruined and I'll have gone to all this work for nothing." Until yesterday.

Scrambled eggs is my go-to breakfast and with Jack getting into more of a routine, I'm getting back into my scrambled eggs for breakfast routine. Yay! I always like to have something along side my eggs, usually something like a piece of toast or banana bread. And lately, I've been craving blueberry muffins. I wanted a muffin that was hearty and not too sweet, and ultimately decided on this recipe. But guess what? I didn't follow it exactly. I only had half the amount of wheat flour on hand, so I used all purpose flour as well. I also subbed in unsweetened applesauce for the oil. And guess what? The muffins turned out great! Go figure.

Blueberry Muffins

adapted from this recipe

1 cup mashed bananas

1 egg

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce

1 cup wheat flour

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder

1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, and grease muffin tin or paper muffin liners. The original recipe makes 18 muffins, but I them a little on the big side and only made 12.

Mix together mashed bananas, egg, water, and applesauce in a large bowl. Mix in flour, baking soda, and baking powder until mostly smooth. Gently fold in the blueberries.

Bake for 15-20 minutes and until the tops are golden.

cloth wipes

Before Jack was born, we had decided that we'd give cloth diapers a try, but that it may be wise to wait until he was about 3 months old since cloth diapers on a newborn can be, well, sort of awkward and huge. And here we are, Jack is about 3 1/2 months old (already!) and it's time to get our cloth diapering on.

Something I didn't expect I would be doing, but surprising LOVE, is using cloth wipes. Honestly, I'm sure we'll always have a pack or two of disposable wipes on hand because they're just. so. handy., but cloth wipes really are great. I generously received a big stack of homemade flannel cloth wipes at one of my showers and was a little intimidated to use them. After reading up on different ways to use them - storing them wet or dry, what solution to use, how to wash them - I figured out there's nothing intimidating at all. Here's what we do:

Storing - You can store them wet, meaning they will already be soaked in whatever solution you choose and ready to use. But with that method, it takes time to figure out the right ratio of solution so your wipes aren't too wet, and there is also the risk of mold/mildew. If you're really ambitious, you can even fold your cloth wipes accordion style and put them in an empty wipe dispenser with the solution. But I'm all about quick and easy these days, so I store my cloth wipes dry and stacked on top of the changing table. Next to them is a spray bottle with the wipe solution. To use, I spray the cloth wipe a few times and away we go!

Wipe solution - What's great about cloth wipes is that you can customize the solution for your baby's needs, i.e. sensitive skin, yeast issues, diaper rash, etc. If you Google "cloth wipe solution", you will find a whole slew of different ingredients and recipes. Since Jack doesn't have any skin issues, I went for a fairly basic solution that is both gentle and anti-fungal.

Cloth Wipe Solution

1 1/4 cups water

3 drops lavender oil

3 drops tea tree oil

1 tsp Dr. Bronner's soap

This amount lasts us about 2 weeks.

Washing - I haven't actually sat and counted out how many cloth wipes we have, but it's a pretty good stack, maybe around 3 or 4 dozen. The other great thing about cloth wipes is that I seriously only ever use one wipe per diaper change. That may change once Jack starts eating solids, but even then, I can see only ever needing to use 2 at the most. I store the dirty wipes in a wet/dry bag until laundry day. When it's time to wash them, I soak all the dirt wipes in a bucket with hot water and Oxi-Clean for a couple of hours, then wash with a free-and-clear detergent. So far, they've stayed stain free and fresh.

Traveling - for weekend trips, I just bring the spray bottle, dry cloth wipes, and wet/dry bag along. For things like going to church or shorter outings, I'm planning on using a wipe pouch and putting some of the wipe solution in a small, capped spray bottle.

*You don't need hand-sewn flannel squares to get started with cloth wipes, although they do rock. If you don't want to spend a lot on buying brand name cloth wipes, I've heard that little baby washcloths from Target or Walmart work, too; they just might not last as long.

lately...

loving that my boy has busy kicking, smiling, chewing on his tongue, and sleeping through the night.

not loving that it has been crazy cold, as in almost any temp above zero sounds good.

wanting to chop my hair.

remembering that I like the summer Olympics so much better than the winter Olympics.

craving oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

finally getting around to using my Norwex cloths to clean the windows and mirrors. amazing!

eating lots of things like roast and potatoes and chicken soup.

learning to do things one-handed.

reading through Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening" on the iPad.

talking about when to finally make the switch from bassinet to crib.

having the words to this song running through my head.

planning to celebrate my little brother's 18th birthday.

keeping my heart and mind set on my many blessings instead of always wanting, comparing, and wishing. not easy.

lending maternity clothes to a good friend. so excited to meet baby z in June!

watching through all the seasons of Dirty Jobs on Netflix.

listening to jazz on iTunes Radio during Jack's last nursing session before bed.

these days

My boy is 2 1/2 months old and getting sweeter by the day. He is such a sweet and content baby. Although each day sort if still feels like I'm just keeping my head above water, trying to find the new normal, I don't want to forget these days. It's hard sometimes to not wish away the days, wishing for warmer weather or daily showers or date nights. But I know without a doubt I will look back on these first weeks and months of getting to know our baby with longing and fondness. Being thrust into motherhood has been more overwhelming than I thought it would be and I'm learning that I cannot do it on my own accord. When the days seem endless, when the crying won't end, when naps are eluding, when supper consists of cold cereal 3 nights in a row, when the same clothes are worn for 2 days straight, when worry and doubt and inadequacy fill my thoughts, when it feels like there's no one to talk to...I need to remember my Saviour and His grace and be thankful. Because along with all this, there are moments of intense joy and happiness and pride unlike I've ever felt before - when I pick Jack up in the morning and he has a big cheesy grin, when he falls asleep in my arms, when he stares contentedly at me when I give him a bath, when he coos, when he puts his little hand on my chest while nursing, when he pulls up his legs to his tummy when I pick him up from his nap. I feel like my heart could literally burst with love for this tiny boy of mine. It is incredible and I am so blessed to be his mother, even if I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.

For when I am weak, He is strong.

2 Corinthians 12:10