baby update // 37 weeks

yes, that is my hospital bag in the background, semi-packed and ready to go.

Well, folks, I think we're ready for Baby Miller. And by that I mean as ready as you can ever be walking directly into the complete unknown aka parenthood. The nursery is unbelievably cute and stocked with blankets, onesies, and diapers; the car seat base has been installed; all the crib bedding has been washed; the swing is put together and sitting in the corner, waiting to be used. As for the labor and delivery aspect of everything, I'm feeling fairly prepared for that as well. Between our birth classes, reading a couple of highly-recommended books, and talking to friends who have been through the experience, I feel ready to take on this enormous task. People keep asking me if I'm nervous or scared, and I always say no. I'm more curious than anything, and if there's anything I'm nervous about, it's not the pain or work, but just the unknown. I'm a planner by nature and love to know what I'm walking into, but birth is one of those things that you can't really plan for. Yes, we have our birth plan all written out and ideas of how everything will go, but we of course have no idea how it will all actually go down. For this reason, I've been focusing my prayers more on the outcome than on the actual experience. Yes, I would love to be one of those women who can say I had a terrific and beautiful birth experience, but ultimately, all I want is a healthy and strong babe.

It's still so weird to me that I'm going to be a mom, that Tim's going to be a dad. Growing up, those titles were reserved for people who had perms, wore pleated pants, had mustaches, drank a lot of coffee, and liked to listen to news on the radio. Actually, Tim fits 3 of those characteristics already, ha! I think parenting is something I'm much more nervous about than physically birthing a baby. Should we be reading parenting books? Do we need to go over standards we think we should have once the kid is a little older? I think I'm so scared that one little "wrong" decision about something like how often to feed the baby or where the baby will sleep will end up snowballing into some kind of undesirable "condition" like a baby that cries all the time or doesn't sleep through the night until they're 2. This is probably just something I need to get over and we'll find our groove over time, figuring out what's best for our baby.

Baby Miller, we're ready for you and are so excited to meet you! See you soon, little one.